A while ago I had a discussion with a friend about being easily offended and how it seemed to be an epidemic these days. This has been saved in my drafts for at least a month now. We have had a lot going on around here and honestly, I just didn't have the time or energy to finish it. Wouldn't you know it, something happened today that triggered my memory of this post. I did my best to wrap it up. I hope this makes sense and helps someone (it sure helped me).
There are certain sins in our lives that get swept under the rug because they aren't the big obvious ones like murder, stealing or addictions. They become like pet sins; those sins that feel safe to keep in our lives. Who are they harming? One pet sin that I think is wreaking havoc on our world today is being easily offended.
- Do you rehash all day why the cashier treated you rudely?
- Do you refuse to enjoy a meal because the waiter forgot to bring the sause you requested for the fries that are now cold?
- Do silently seethe over the fact that your friend forgot your birthday?
- Do you read the comments section of political posts?
- Do you hate follow anyone on social media, just to be offended by their posts?
Did I hit a nerve? I'm guessing yes because truthfully, we've got so many nerves to hit these days! We have the potential to spend our lives completely annoyed and in the moment, they might seem really small, but it's damaging our hearts and our minds far more than we realize. And the compound effect of holding on to multiple offenses may just be the obstacle standing in your way of experiencing all that God promised.
Being easily offended is an entitlement issue.
I love Brant Hanson's definition of taking an offense or being offendable: " the very presumption that I'm somehow entitled to be angry with someone."
When we walk into any situation, assuming that we are entitled to be angry with someone, we set ourselves up to constantly be offended. Why? Because everyone around us is unfortunately human instead of perfect.
It also steals our joy. Allowing someone else's choices to determine our mood is essentially letting them steal our joy. We give other people (people who love us, hate us, don't know us, and everything in between) entirely too much authority over whether we'll experience joy.
Being easily offended isn't required to take necessary actions.
Maybe someone did hurt you. Make healthy boundaries, but don't let it take up more real estate than is necessary. I think for a lot of people, we keep a long record of wrongs, thinking that it will protect us when it doesn't. You can do what needs to be done without holding onto an offense.
Being easily offended doesn't require an actual offense.
We can be offended by real things, but we can also be offended by things we make up in our minds. We're creative like that sometimes! We can be offended by a tone, a look, or something we think someone said but didn't actually say. When I'm faced with the opportunity to be offended, it's honestly easiest to let go when I remember, "Well, maybe that's not how they meant it?"
So where does that leave us? I think it's time for a heart check:
- Is taking an offense a pet sin for us?
- Are we going out of our way to be offended? (looking at comments we know will bother us or even following people we don't like just to be annoyed with them)
- Does confession need to take place?
"Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
Much Love,
Beth
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