I have tried to write this post about 5 times and for one reason or the other I just didn't have it in me to post it (and then I couldn't decide what to title it so you get both: Reflections/Confessions).
This has been a summer of reflection for me. Reflecting on this past school year and what I want my (our) goals and aspirations to be for this new school year...which begins in just 5 days!
I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying about our schooling--whether or not to home school or go back to our private school. I'll be the first to admit (confessions coming ) that I wasn't happy with how our school year went last year. It wasn't any one thing in-particular; just a bunch of stuff. Grades were never an issue. For some reason my kids are smart (ha!)! We had two All A Honor Roll students and one A's and B's Honor Roll-er. I just wasn't happy and that was trickling down to my kids.
So after much reflection something hit me like a ton of bricks: It was ME who was making me unhappy. It was my constant comparing, competing, judging, being angry, regretting, worrying, blaming.....and so on, all in the name of my kids, that was making EVERYONE unhappy! And you know what? They didn't need me doing that for them. They were perfectly fine.
But it was ME who wanted them to have the best of everything. It was me who wanted them hanging out with the popular (and sometimes not so nice) kids and not be made fun of. It was ME who insisted that they make the best grades in their classes, and sadly enough, it was ME who pushed them so hard. My excuse was always, "I just want them to always do their best".
But really, in the grand scheme of life, does any of that really matter?
It's not going to matter if they are the smartest in their class, although I would certainly be proud of that. It's not going to matter if they are the most popular, most athletic, have the most expensive clothes, or the newest technology.
I think I finally realized that what matters the most to me is that they are kind and giving and that they love Jesus with all their hearts. That's it.
I will whoop and holler a whole lot more if they will sit by the kid who is a little different in the lunchroom and share their lunch. Or if they will dry the tears of the kid in their class who gets hurt. Or if they are the first to help if a friend is in need. It would thrill me to death if they would take the time to help when they see the need, or maybe even just because. My heart will soar if they will share Jesus with their classmates or invite others to come to church.
That's better than being a child prodigy to me. All.Day.Long.
These things have eternal rewards.
I know all too well that being kind and loving God will not always make your life a bed of roses, but they will buy up rewards in heaven.
So this year, (more confessions) my goal is to not get so stressed over making all A's or being the best at everything they do(although I still want them to do their best). I want to spend more time teaching them by example (YIKES!), kindness and being a servant and praying with them and not just for them. This has been a conviction of mine for a while now, to be the example I need to be. That means I have to really get my priorities in line--BIG TIME.
Loving God and His people is what should matter most.
Beth
This has been a summer of reflection for me. Reflecting on this past school year and what I want my (our) goals and aspirations to be for this new school year...which begins in just 5 days!
I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying about our schooling--whether or not to home school or go back to our private school. I'll be the first to admit (confessions coming ) that I wasn't happy with how our school year went last year. It wasn't any one thing in-particular; just a bunch of stuff. Grades were never an issue. For some reason my kids are smart (ha!)! We had two All A Honor Roll students and one A's and B's Honor Roll-er. I just wasn't happy and that was trickling down to my kids.
So after much reflection something hit me like a ton of bricks: It was ME who was making me unhappy. It was my constant comparing, competing, judging, being angry, regretting, worrying, blaming.....and so on, all in the name of my kids, that was making EVERYONE unhappy! And you know what? They didn't need me doing that for them. They were perfectly fine.
But it was ME who wanted them to have the best of everything. It was me who wanted them hanging out with the popular (and sometimes not so nice) kids and not be made fun of. It was ME who insisted that they make the best grades in their classes, and sadly enough, it was ME who pushed them so hard. My excuse was always, "I just want them to always do their best".
But really, in the grand scheme of life, does any of that really matter?
It's not going to matter if they are the smartest in their class, although I would certainly be proud of that. It's not going to matter if they are the most popular, most athletic, have the most expensive clothes, or the newest technology.
I think I finally realized that what matters the most to me is that they are kind and giving and that they love Jesus with all their hearts. That's it.
I will whoop and holler a whole lot more if they will sit by the kid who is a little different in the lunchroom and share their lunch. Or if they will dry the tears of the kid in their class who gets hurt. Or if they are the first to help if a friend is in need. It would thrill me to death if they would take the time to help when they see the need, or maybe even just because. My heart will soar if they will share Jesus with their classmates or invite others to come to church.
That's better than being a child prodigy to me. All.Day.Long.
These things have eternal rewards.
I know all too well that being kind and loving God will not always make your life a bed of roses, but they will buy up rewards in heaven.
So this year, (more confessions) my goal is to not get so stressed over making all A's or being the best at everything they do(although I still want them to do their best). I want to spend more time teaching them by example (YIKES!), kindness and being a servant and praying with them and not just for them. This has been a conviction of mine for a while now, to be the example I need to be. That means I have to really get my priorities in line--BIG TIME.
Loving God and His people is what should matter most.
Beth
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