Whew, what a summer! May and June were hard for various reasons: Carl's job was giving a very different vibe, Vacation Bible School was earlier than usual and a little chaotic, we were scratching our heads about how we were going to get Makena a car & order curriculum. When would we be able to take a vacation? Where were we going to go? Thankfully we were able to get Makena a car and order our school books. Then a new pastor (Thank you, Jesus), Revival, oh and my dad has cancer. Yeah, that was about the biggest most unexpected blow I could have ever imagined. CANCER: it's the word that leaves your stomach in knots and your head spinning.
We got the bad news on the first night of Revival. Maybe Satan was trying to distract. Poor Carlie cried during that first night's service. My dad, being the brave man he is, got up and sang a special, "Hallelujah Square". He did fine. The rest of us, not so much. The Revival was a great one. Our new pastor and his sweet family were there and everybody is excited to see what God has in store for our church. It's always great to have a leader. The week ended with my dad having an MRI to see if the cancer was contained. Thank you Jesus, it is contained to his prostate. The next step: surgery.
Finally Carl got the okay to take a few days off for vacation. Seriously, I knew how bad he needed one, we all needed a getaway BUT I didn't reallly want to leave. I am the kind of person that is okay as long as my dad is okay. I look to him for guidance in many aspects of my life and when dark times come, if he is brave and strong and "okay", I am somewhat relieved. The day before we were leaving for the beach I spent some time at the pool with him, and I didnt get that "okay" feeling from him. He was nervous about his choice of surgery (the side effects and whatnot) and his job. I am not used to seeing him like that and it freaked me out a little. I tried to reassure, but what do I know? This is new territory for all of us. That night was a restless night for me. I prayed to God, pleading for him to just let my dad be okay, to keep us strong and help him with this fight, to please not take him away from us. I woke up the next morning feeling more at peace than I have felt since I first hear the words, "its cancer". We went on our vacation and for the most part I had fun and enjoyed my time with my family. I thought of my dad and the hard times we may face in the days ahead often. I can't tell you what will happen, duh, right?! Whatever does happen I plan on standing beside my family, helping as much as I can with whatever they need. I know that God will be there walking with us every step of the way. Sometimes we try to limit God. "God can do anything, but you know, that cancer, it's deadly". God is bigger. God is all knowing and all powerful. Two things played in my mind often: 1. The song, "Didn't I Walk On the Water". Look it up and you'll see why. 2. "And if not, He is still good." Daniel chapter 3 tells about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo. They were about to be thrown into the fiery furnace for not obeying the kings laws. They knew that their God was able to save them from death, but if He chose to let them die, He would still be The Good, Good Father and they would wake up in heaven with Him.
See, God IS able and even though we can't see past our current situation, He can.
I am trusting and believing for God's healing hand to cover my dad. I pray that no matter what the "end" result may be , that others will see God through our family.
So when life gets hard, stay with God. He will never let you down. One of my favorite Bible verses comes from John 6:68. Many followers of Jesus had turned from following Him. When Jesus turned and asked if his disciples would also turn from Him, Peter asks, "to whom would we turn?".
Much Love,
Beth
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