Hey guys! So glad you came back to listen to my ramblings. I will be the first to admit that I just seem to be having a hard time lately. I'm doing my best not to show it though. I still smile, laugh, teach my high schooler, attend church, clean the house...all.the.things.
So what's the problem? Change.
I, like many of you, am a creature of habit. I love routine. I crave routine. I thrive in routines. Routines are my jam.
I have been a mother for almost 20 years (wow!). My very inquisitive niece asked my just last week, "Aunt Beth, when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?". After I thought about it for a second I told her probably a singer or actress (something ridiculous), but mostly I just wanted to be a mom. When I graduated high school and headed to college, I had my sights set on having a career as a writer. To this day I still love to write, but only in my spare time and unfortunately, not for money. Carl and I married my junior year of college and I found out I was pregnant with Carlie 9 months before graduation (my due date was on my graduation date!). Late in my pregnancy I had some issues and ended up giving birth 5 1/2 weeks early. I was unable to finish school and took a break until the following fall...then in October I found out i was pregnant with Makena....so I quit. My heart wasn't in it and my priorities had changed. I loved being a mom. Before I had kids Carl and I had made the decision that I would stay home with them. He came from a home where his mother worked and mine worked from home (in-home daycare). I loved and took pride in taking care of the kids and our home. When Makena was three, I had Trey. Managing my home: the kids, the laundry, cleaning schedules, activities...they made me feel accomplished.
Twenty years of parenting and now my house is kind of empty. Trey is here...and believe me, he has my full attention. I feel like I am "all up in his business" (maybe more than ever) because I have nowhere else to be.
To be completely honest, I feel a little lost. I have more "free time" but I feel like I don't have a purpose. *I KNOW I do*
I have decided that I need a new hobby or something. I have cleaned all I want to, I am not crafty, so I have decided to try out a new instrument. I sat at the piano and quickly decided against that. I went in Makena's room and looked around: hmmm, do I want the drums? Bass guitar? Acoustic guitar? Ukelele? Ah ha...THE VIOLIN. Yes, I think I will.
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