Last week my daughter took my granddaughter to her preschool open house. She was excited to see her classroom, meet her new teacher, and maybe see some friends she hasn't seen for most of the summer. At last, she spotted two of her friends. As mom was doing her thing and speaking with the other mom's the little girls were playing. Fast forward to when I called to check and see how everything went. Carlie said Wrenley was upset because two little girls were mean to her. Evidently, they were chatting and one of the little girls looked at Wrenley's fingernails (which had some chipped polish due to a gel manicure about a month ago). They were hardly noticeable. But not to one little girl. No, she told Wrenley that she got her nails done at the salon and Wrenley's mom did hers and that they didn't look good.
These are three-and-a-half and four-year-olds. Mind you, we were taking her to the salon over the weekend before school starts on Monday. This absolutely broke my heart for Wrenley. Not because I think that little girl is a "mean girl." She's not, she's four. Four-year-olds are still learning. They don't always understand that words can leave bruises we can't see. Sometimes they're simply repeating what they've heard or trying to make sense of the world around them.
It did make me realize something. We think of mean girls as middle school or high school problems. We whispered conversations at lunch tables, and social media. But the truth is, comparison starts much earlier. At four years old, children are already beginning to notice who has what, who looks different, and whose things they think are "better." That's exactly why kindness can't be assumed--it has to be taught.
We spend so much time teaching our children to say "please" and "thank-you", to share their toys, and to use good manners. We also need to teach them that someone else's value isn't determined by what they wear, what they own, or whether their nails came from a salon.
One little sentence changed the way my granddaughter felt about her day and her friend.
Words have that kind of power. I hope we are raising girls who use their words to build confidence instead of stealing it. Girls who invite others into the game instead of making them feel left out. Girls who compliment instead of compare. Girls who understand that kindness will always be more beautiful than being the best dressed, most fashionable, or the one with the fanciest nails.
Because someday those little girls will become women. And those habits they're learning today will become the way they treat people tomorrow.
So, let's teach our daughters--and our sons--that the most beautiful thing they'll ever wear isn't a new outfit or a fresh manicure.
It's kindness, and that never goes out of style.
Much Love,
Beth
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